Tangled Up in Blue, an Alicia Will story
by LMM1984
Summary: Alicia and Will, post Red Team/ Blue Team, this is the story of the subtle ways in which they are entwined, and as the story goes on their bond will deepen through changing circumstances.
1. Chapter 1

Tangled up in Blue

this is just a small story I've been thinking of starting about Alicia and Will, after Red Team, blue Team, and there seems to not be enough fics about these two out there! Anyway, I could add parts, depending on how this one goes. I would see the story going into Alicia finally deciding that she needs to give Will a chance, as their connection will never really disappear. This is almost just like a prologue, set during and after that episode:

As Will stood in Alicia's office, after she had fled the scene, he tried to process what had just happened.

He had been so angry at Alicia just minutes ago, and now all he felt was... every old feeling he had resurfacing, after all his efforts to push them down, for so long. She had made it clear that she wasn't prepared to pay the price it would cost to be with him, and yet in that moment, as their lips had met, he knew that she had doubts.

In his mind he flashed back to that first night with her, and the almost imperceptible touch of their hands in the elevator. When he'd realized that she needed reassurance, and somehow, for once, been able to give her what he needed.

But what did she need now?

As Alicia berated herself for how easily she had given in to Will only moments before, she couldn't help but compare the passion of their brief kiss, with her interactions with Peter in the previous weeks.

She came to Peter with no expectations of love or even deep affection, but for familiarity, comfort, and the satisfaction of getting what she required, and only what she required out of the situation.

Will, on the other hand, was a completely different story. It has shocked her, intially how soon the word 'love' had cropped up between them, given his age and the fact he had never really committed to anyone. There was a small part of her that wondered had he always hels a small torch for her, all these years? And then, also, she wondered why hadn't she chosen Will, when she had the chance?

Back then, Peter had pursued her with such determination, that she had been sure she was with the man that wanted her the most. Years later, however, she began to wonder if maybe she had actually ended up with the man who loved winning the most,.

Will congratulated her in earnest when she was awarded partnership.

How could he not? He didn't know anyone that deserved it more. And he had felt ashamed to be once again manipulated by David Lee into taking that away from her. The new politics of Lockhart/ Gardner were beginning to make even him queasy, and between his poor performance at the mock trial, losing his cool with Alicia earlier, and the way his decisions were constantly being overturned by the senior partners, he was beginning to wonder whether he was still cut out for all this.

They had promised not to be alone together, but all it took was brushing by her arm at the refreshments table, to make him think the most unspeakable things.

And from the way she has kissed him back, he couldn't help but know that she was thinking those things too.

He thought about Laura, and wondered if maybe he should ask her out, do something to take his mind off the whole Alicia situation? Although that strategy had scarcely worked for him before.

Another thing that he didn't know, was what the hell was going on with Alicia and Pter. Lately he'd got the feeling... well it didn't really bear thinking about, but they certainly didn't seem to have the same animosity that they had before.

And that was not a good thing.

Alicia was one of the last to leave that night.

She kept remembering seeing Kalinda and Cary through the glass of that room full of partners. It had been the most peculiar feeling, to shift so suddenly from the outside looking in, to the inside looking out. She wasn't sure that she liked the view.

As she donned her coat, someone had entered her office, and looking up she noticed it was Kalinda, holding two miniature champagne bottles, and smiling with a slight trepidation that was a charming contrast to her usual cool confidence.

'I thought you were with Cary'

'I was. I helped him drown his sorrows over a beer, and he left, and now I wanted to toast to you. But maybe now isn't a good time?'

There was nothing Alicia wanted more right now than a drink with a friend. She needed someone to trust so desperately, that she knew she would trust Kalinda now.

'No, it is. I mean I'd like that.' Alicia pulled out two mugs from her desk drawer, slightly dusty, but she was past caring.

Kalinda poured.

'To your new life, as partner...'

Alicia smiled wryly 'Cheers.'

'So, does Cary hate me?'

'He would have taken the deal too, and he knows it.'

'Well sure, but...' Alice pondered how much to reveal. 'We were thinking of starting our own firm, did he tell you?'

Neither confirming nor denying, Kalinda said' You would have made a good team' She sipped her champagne. 'Speaking of good teams, Alicia, how about you and Will? What will things be like for you, now that you are peers, he's not you're boss anymore.'

Alicia started, almost coughing as she swallowed the rather delicious bubbly drink.

'Me and Will?' Dam it, Kalinda was a psychic. Or she skulked in shadows watching people in the office, which was also likely. 'What makes you ask about that?'

'Things have been a little off between the two of you recently. But maybe now...''

Alicia laughed to herself ruefully. 'Kalinda, can I ask you, as a friend, to leave that sentence unfinished, just for tonight'

Kalinda laughed in agreement 'Well okay' she refilled her glass 'but you can't put off finsihing that sentence forever.''


	2. Chapter 2

It was the dawn of a new day, and a new era, as Alicia walked in the door of her new office, on her first official day as partner.

She could feel the ground shift beneath her feet, the way her former peers looked at her had changed, and so had the way the other partners now viewed her- they looked at her like people on a crowded subway car, grudgingly uneager to admit a new traveller in their crowded midst.

More particularly being partner would mean more contact with the one person she was most anxious not to be near.

She pondered her cobversation with Kalinda. Would being partner really change things for her and Will? It did feel nice to be closer to his level- and yet in s strange way it made their attraction a little bit less illicit, for which she felt an irrational regret. She was no longer the good employee undone by an irresistable attraction to her boss, and she would probably never be again... and those had been fun times. Terrifying, but fun.

They had promised not to be alone together, but how could they possibly adhere to that, after all they had been to each other already. And did she even want to.

Will had decided to burn off some steam at a basketball game and go in late that day.

He was trying to stifle his excitement at seeing Alicia in her new, closer office. Although he wouldn't admit it, he had been alarmed by how close he felt she had been to walking out the door. After all, now that their short lived romance had died, when would he see her at all if not at work?

As he packed his bag, post shower, in the gym locer room, a text came through on his phone, from Kalinda. All it contained were the words :Read this: and a link. He clicked with only half his attention on the phone, until it was fully grabbed by the headline, containing a very familiar second name.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXX

It was supposed to be one of the proudest days of het life. She had dreamed of begininng a partnership at a big firm since law school. So it seemed like some kind of cosmic irony that it was also the day that Peter's newest sex scandal broke the headlines.

She's been thinking about Peter on and off since her kiss with Will. And more than anything, she'd felt a little guilty. After all, to an extent she had just been using him, as the safe, available option.

Now she felt foolish, for thinking she could ever be safe with Peter again.

Her phone rang- Eli, again, well he could go to hell.

She was through being careful of Peter's career, of Peter's anything. All of that time she'd been so careful not to damage his chances in the election, when he had already shot himself in the foot- with that intern he'd sworn blind he'd had nothing to do with.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Will was in his office, studying the scene outside his window, when Kalinda walked in.

'Did you get my message?'

'' I got it,'

'And?'

'And what Kalinda? This is hardly news.'

'It is to Alicia.'

'Because she's seeing him again?'

For once, Kalinda looked uncomfortable for a moment. He smirked with a hint of resignation 'You don't need to answer that. I know her well enough to know.'

'You should go to her Will.'

'It wouldn't be a good idea.'

'She really needs a friend right now. She's just been made partner, all her old friends are suddenly eyeing her like she's the enemy, and now this. Who else does she have if not you?'

'Why not you?'

Was that shame in her eyes? If it was, it flickered by quickly, replaced with steely resolve.

T'hat wouldn't do any good.'

'So you think I should go and offer comfort over her disappointment in the man she chose over me?'

'It's not like that with you two Will.'

'How do you know that, Kalinda? How do you know what there is or isn't between myself and Alicia, or between her and Peter, Look at all the humiliation she's let him put her through. She must really love him.' He couldn't even meet her eyes as he voiced what he'd been telling himself all year in isolation. Hearing it aloud, in his own voice made it more real, and more painful.

'You're wrong.' Kalinda came and sat beside him. She touched his arm briefly, to connect, to get his attention. 'You're too close to understand this Will. It's not that she stays near him out of love. It's that as long as there is something still there, even if it's a friendship, a connection to her children's father, even a profession clout only he can give her- as long as there is something she's getting from him, it means she hasn't been humiliated and heartbroken for nothing. But that's not the same as love Will. Love is what she's running away from.'

And with that, she left him to his thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

It was to Alicia's tremendous relief that Owen called to her unexpectedly that evening. Somehow, she had made it through the day, and the difficult conversations with Grace and Zach, who had retired to their rooms and their own secret teenage worlds, less derailed than the last time, which only made her sadder for them.

They embraced warmly.

'Pour me a glass of wine, and tell me everything.'

'If you've been reading the tabloids, you probably know more than I do.' she said ruefully, as she led him to the kitchen.

* * *

Will had his phone is his hand, and Alicia's number was staring at him from the screen, all lit up.

He thought about what Kalinda had said. It made sense. Alicia has always been distrustful of emotion. She had stayed with Peter because it made sense, because it was good for the kids... Involuntarily he saw in his mind once more his meeting with Zach, recalling how very lame he had been. And also because she was afraid of the emotional upheaval inherent in taking a chance with him.

Because she loved him.

He knew it when she was looking at him asking what would they do. He couldn't bear to come out and say what he wanted, only to get shot down again by her relentless, pitiless rationality. But as rational as she was, there was a part of her that still belonged to him. That maybe always would. And maybe, if he reached out to her now, when she needed it the most, and was what she needed him to be- a friend... well, maybe there could be hope.

* * *

'You're not as devastated as I expected' Owen said wryly, reproachfully.

'What's that they say? Fool me twice, shame on me?' Alicia laughed bitterly.

'But were you, fooled?'

'What does that mean?'

'Only that you stopped caring about Peter that way a long time ago, sis...'

He was interrupted by her ringtone. She checked the caller ID.

'It's Will,' she said, in surprise.

Owen raised an optimistic eyebrow: 'Answer it!'

Without time to consider she did just that.

'Will, Hi! '

'Alicia, how are you?'

'I'm okay. Actually, I'm surprised to hear from you.'

'I know. I know I said we should keep our distance. But... I was worried about you. I wanted to check how you're doing.'

'Oh I'm... I'm okay, you know, it's been a long day,'

'I'll bet'.'

There was a lingering awkwardness, and usually at that point she would let him hang up. But all of a sudden she realised there was nothing left to keep him away for. Things with Peter were irrevocably over, and right now it seemed like he just wanted to be her friend.

'You know, Will, I know what we agreed, about not spending time alone together. But Owen is here, and I wondered if you would like to come join us for a glass of wine? I mean, a friendly glass of wine, with both of us? I didn't like the way we left things.' Owen was doing a double take in the background. Even she wondered if she knew what she was doing.

There was a silence at the other end of the line.

She guessed she had over-reached, but she had been overpowered by a sudden need just to see his face, after such a hellish day. He had told her once that he liked himself around her, and the truth was, that was a mutual feeling, she liked herself better around him too. And tonight, she really needed to feel that, just for an hour or two.

'It's okay,' she soothed him 'I understand why it's not...'

'No, look I... I'm on my way.'

And the line went dead.


	4. Chapter 4

NOTE: thank you to everyone who reviewed it's been so encouraging. I'm telling the evening in two parts, so this is just the first.

* * *

When she turned around, Owen was putting on his jacket.

'What are you doing?' She asked.

"I'm going out to give you some space. Sultry-eyed Will is on his way over, you don't need me cramping your style.'

'No, you can't do that Owen. He's coming over because you're here'

'Have I somehow misunderstood the nature of what's been going on with you and Will? Because I do love those brooding eyes of his.'

Alicia rolled her eyes. 'I mean, we've agreed not to be alone together, so he can only come over because you're here.'

'Come again?'

"We had a talk and we agreed that it's better if we don't spend time alone together in case...'

'Wait, so you're telling me that you want me to play the character of chaperone in a novel by Jane Austen, because you and Will, your former boss, can't be in a room alone together without... without what? Tearing each other's clothes off? What happened?

After a beat, Alicia realized she needed to level with him.

Well we argued. And then we kissed. This was before the news about Peter.

'Oh'

'It's complicated, Owen.'

'Yes, having a guy who doesn't have a penchant for interns be crazy about you must be so confusing. Thank God you're doing all you can to keep him at some kind of bizarre armslength while refusing to really let go of him.'

She let the words sink in.

'You think I'm not being fair to him?'

Sensing her distress, Owen gave her arm a pat. 'I think you're not being fair to yourself, honey. Will is just collateral damage.'

'The last thing I want is to hurt him.'

'I know it is. Look, go put on some lipstick and I'll open another bottle.'

* * *

Alicia was still in her room, probably having decided to change her clothes as well, when a gentle knock came at the door.

Owen answered.

'Will!' he greeted him warmly.

'Owen, it's good to see you.'

'You too, shame about the circumstances though.'

Owen took Wills coat and led him over to the couch.

'How is she?' he asked, with real concern in his voice.

'Honestly, don't think she's even surprised this time. It's the kids she's worried about.'

Of course, Will thought, the kids, and was reminded once again how bad he was with kids. 'I can't imagine what that's like for her. I wouldn't know what to say'

'Well, she's had the benefit of practice,' said Owen, a undertone of contempt for Peter clear in his voice. It was comforting to note that Alicia's brother, at least, was definitely in his corner.

Owen poured Will a glass.

'Drink up. You need to catch up with us.'

Will smiled and took a sip.

'I... I hope it's not weird for Zach and Grace that I'm here.'

Owen sized Will up, and saw instantly that we was insecure around Alicia's kids, unsure of his place in her life, and yet at the same time that he desperately wanted some acceptance into it. He liked that, respected it, even.

There were footsteps, and them Alicia entered the room. Her face brightened visibly at the sight of Will.

'Hi there. I see my brother's already working on getting you drunk.'

Will grinned.

"Hey' Owen objected 'I just didn't want him making us look like drunks in comparison. He handed her a generous glass of Merlot as well.

'How about a toast?' suggested Owen.

Will hadn't thought it would be a toast sort of evening, but he was talking Owen and Alicia's lead here, and raised his glass, as did Alicia, sitting down just near enough to him to make him feel his blood rise a little.

'To friends in need.'


	5. Chapter 5

Will felt certain he shouldn't be enjoying this evening so much.

Of course, he cared about Alicia, and didn't want to see her or her family hurt. But there was a small part of him that had been slightly relieved when he heard that Peter was caught in another lie. And the truth was, Alicia didn't exactly strike him as devastated.

Actually, as he watched her laugh at her brother's jokes, reclined on her sofa in a flattering dark top that showed off her milky collarbones, he thought she seemed almost set free.

'So is it weird, not being Alicia's boss anymore, Will?' Owen asked archly.

Will smiled. 'Well, I've only had a day to get used to it.'

Owen considered that 'Well sure, but it's a big change right?' he looked to his sister for more information.

'Will's always been my most loyal supporter at the firm. I wouldn't have a job without him, never mind a partnership.'

Will felt the tips of his ears turning red with embarrassment, and yet his heart swelled to hear her talk about him that way.

He wasn't sure he deserved it, after more than one misstep on the track to her partnership. Since things had fallen apart romantically with Alicia, he realized he had not had his head fully in the game at work. He had grown so used to having her as friend and ally, that the distance which developed between him had hit him hard.

'I haven't been able to do all that much for you- or the firm since I came back from my suspension' Will said, looking down.

'I think a lot of us have regrets about last year,' Alicia glanced at him, trying t gauge his response, but his gaze was still darkened and downward. For a moment, she could really feel how much their separation was hurting him.

'Speaking of regrets' said Owen, 'Did Alicia ever tell you about how she got her hair cut like Rizzo from Grease in high school?- It was about the closed she ever came to rebellion.'

'Owen!'

'Now that I'd like to see,' grinned Will, coming out of his reverie.

* * *

Alicia returned from saying goodnight to the kids to see that Owen had fallen asleep in his chair.

'I see he finally exhausted himself of embarrassing stories from my childhood.'

Will smiled.

'I think he was going easy on you.' She went into the kitchen to retrieve her glass, and made a small motion with her hand for him to follow her.

She noted he still had half a glass of wine left, and hoped he would stay to finish it.

'Then, when they were in the kitchen, it looked as if he had something that he wanted to say.

'I have to admit, I was kind of surprised you invited me over, Alicia.'

She nodded. 'I know. I know that you said that we should stay away from each other.' there was a hint of disappointment in her voice.

'Yes, I did.' he wasn't about to take all the blame for that thought. "I'm just trying to give you what you want.' He looked her straight in they eye.

Alicia smiled bitterly Will, if you know what I want, maybe you could fill me in too.

'Well, I know what you don't want.'

'Will, that's not fair. I never... I never not wanted you. You must know that.' She looked at him, willing him to tell her he knew how she felt, even if only with his eyes. Then, maybe she wouldn't feel quite so guilty.

'But before today, weren't you and Peter... thinking of reconciling?' That was the most civil way he could think of putting it.

Those words made impact with Alicia like a bullet. 'We'd spent some more time together, yes' Alicia admitted. 'But it was never... well, Peter and I have history, we have kids, it's easy for us to spend time together, we have things in common. But it was never like you and I Will. What we had was something else entirely.'

He tried to take that in. He was determined not to get his hopes up again though, especially not so soon.

Somehow she was now standing a lot nearer to her, near enough that if he wanted to he could reach out and pull the stray lock of hair in her face back behind her ear.

But if he did that, he couldn't be responsible for what he'd want to do next.

'I think it took trying- and failing, to get back with Peter, to let me know that it was really over.'

She was almost speaking more to herself, than him.

'That's what you're saying tonight' said Will, and he had to keep the anger from rising in his voice. He just couldn't get a handle on this woman. And he was terrified of being hurt again, and maybe worse than the last time. He knew what it was like to lose her now, and it was something he wanted to avoid ever feeling again.

'I guess I deserve that.' Alicia said solemnly.

'No, no you don't, I'm sorry, it's just, it's been a long day.' he had never dreamed when he woke up he'd be ending the day in her company. ' I should be moving on'

He swilled back the last of his wine.

'Of course, it's late.' Alicia picked up his jacket and haded it to him as she walked towards the door and opened it.

He stood in the open door frame, and looked at her, unsure how to say goodbye.

'Thank you for coming tonight, Will. Really.'

Impulsively, she reached out and hugged him, and gave him a brief kiss on the cheek. With her lips so close to his, it was hard to resist going in for another kiss, to see if it would have the same passion as the last one, but she knew she needed to tread carefully here.

'I know this has all been a mess, but I hope that maybe we can keep talking. Maybe even have the friendship we once did again?'

'I can't imagine ever not being your friend, Alicia.' he said quickly, and softly, and the sweetness of hearing it lingered after he had gone.


	6. Chapter 6

Author note:

Thanks again to all of you reviewing. I'm really hoping we see more of A/W on our screens this year, until then, Thank God we have fanfic :)

* * *

Will couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed such a peaceful Saturday, as he sat playing his guitar, the sun streaming into his apartment. It was nice to have the time to process yesterday night's events.

Alicia had seemed different, in a way that was subtle but profound.

There had always seemed to be some part of her that was never quite in the conversation with him.

He had been especially mindful of that when she had suggested that they talk about that slip up when he told her he loved her. He had said that he didn't want to be with anyone else, and she had brushed it off.

He's left the room with that lame 'No fuss, no muss' comment (God, he cringed, even now he could still be so lame around her, What was it about this woman that could turn him into such a mess?), and affterwards he felt like suddenly he was the 'girl' in the relationship, the one wanting to talk about feelings and define things, whilst Alcica was the commitment-shy 'guy' hoding back.

He loved her strength, but at the same time he'd wished she could let herself give in to her feelings just once.

However, last night, it seemed to him like that last part of her that had so long been in Peter's thrall, had somehow broken free. And all of her was there, in front of him, in the room.

He both didn't feel quite deserving, and didn't feel quite able to trust it as real.

He wanted to believe that her and Peter were completely over, he really did, but he had regretted believing it before.

* * *

Alicia woke up to the smell of bacon frying.

She pulled on a light robe and entered the kitchen, where Grace and Zach were sitting chatting with him, drinking orange juice and eating freshly made pancakes and bacon.

She took a minute to be grateful for her brother. Who always seemed to know what she and the kids needed.

'Good morning!' he said brightly, no trace of a hangover, placing a tempting looking plate of food in front of her, and a glass of juice.

'Thank you.' she smiled. 'You're looking very chipper this morning.'

'I didn't stay up quite as late as you did.' He said, his words dripping with insinuation meant only for her.

'Did you guys have a late one?' asked Zach with a grin. He was feeling happy to see his Mom more relaxed than she had been all week.

'Not too late, Your uncle fell asleep mid sentence. Eventually ' Alicia took a bite of bacon and fluffly pancake.

'Was there someone else here.' Grace asked 'I saw three glasses by the couch.'

Her daughter was an observant girl. She didn't want her thinking, though, that there was any chance Peter had been there last night, that there was any hope of that level of reconciliation.

'My friend Will from work stopped by' Alicia said casually.

'I remember him.' Zach said. 'He's the guy I met that time in your office?'

She looked at her son. Grace was observant, but Zach was the intuitive one that she suspected of knowing that little bit more of what was really going on with her. He also had that little bit more maturity, that seemed to make him more understanding of her human side, of the possibility she might not always be perfect, that there might be more to her life than her kids could know about.

And she could see him putting the pieces together in his mind.

'You met Will before, Zach?' asked Owen, and she could see he was dying to ask more, to find out what Zach thought of him.

'Just for a minute, in Mom's office.' Zach said casually

'He's your boss, right?' asked Grace, seeking clarity.

'Well, not anymore, technically now I'm a partner, so we're sort of on the same level.'

Zach finished his juice and put his plate in the dishwasher.

' And you really deserve it, Mom,' he said, squeezing her arm before he left the room.

She felt a surge of love for her son, and also hoped hat _maybe_ he meant she deserved more than just her new job title.


	7. Chapter 7

Zach sat at his laptop in his room, looking over some details on the campaign website. He's kept up his work there, despite the recent scandal. His feelings about his father were complicated, but he had long ago been forced to accept that his father was not perfect, and that that didn't mean he didn't love his children.

His parents relationship was a cypher to him. There were times when it seemed better, and there had been more of those recently. And of course, there had been very bad times. And then, there were the times when it seemed to him like his Mom was going to finally move on.

As he was thinking about going to college, about moving out, and all the changes that would come for him all too soon, he worried also about what was going to become of his Mom.

There was a knock at his door. It was Grace.

'Can I come in?'

'Sure'

She sat on his bed, and faced him.

'Zach do you have any idea what's going on with Mom?'

'You mean with her and Dad?' Zach asked, only half dividing his attention between her and his laptop.

'No, I mean with this guy Will, her old boss. It seems like he's always been around.'

Zach now gave her his full attention.

'So you think that maybe there is something going on between them? Or there was?'

'Well, yeah, Or maybe they're friends, but he has a crush on her?'

'Maybe,' said Zach, carefully. He wanted to be gentle with his sister on this subject. 'Grace, how would you feel if Mom met somebody else?'

Grace's face belied her unease.

'I always hoped that her and Dad were going to work out out. And this year- well, it realy seemed like they were going to.'

Zach nodded. Though their parents kept a lot from the, it was easy to see the way they looked at each oteher, and their tone of voice in converation, had become softer, more affectionate again. Not quite like the old days, but not far from it.

'And now?'

'Now... I think maybe that was Dad's last chance. And he spoiled it.' He could see the beginning of tears in her eyes. He came and sat next to her on the bed, and squeezed her arm.

'Maybe that was our last chance to be a family, Zach, and now it's gone.'

'Grace, we'll always be a family. But you and I aren't kids anymore. We have our own lives. And we'll move out soon anough and go live them. Have you thought about what's going to happen to Mom when we leave?'

'I always thought she'd have Dad.'

'And in a way, I think she always will. But will he make her happy Grace? Is what's left with her and Dad going to do that for her? Would you want her to hold that all together if it's only for us, so it looks like they're okay?'

Grace thoughta bout it. "I want Mom to be happy. I thought that Dad could make her happy again, like before. . But if he can't, then I still want her to be happy, Zach.'

Zach felt a wave of relief, but he kept things cool. 'Well, okay. Maybe some time soon, you might need to let her know that.'

* * *

In the spirit of renewing their friendship, Alicia called in to see Will during a rare office lull on Monday afternoon.

He was just putting down the phone.

'I'm sorry' she said 'Is this a bad time?'

'No it's fine' said Will 'I was just on the phone with my sisters. It's Aubrey's birthday, and they want to organise a night out here in town. With my place as the base of operations.' he sighed.

'You don't sound very excited.'

'Well, every time they come to town, they start poking into my business and giving me a hard time about' (_about you,_ he thought) 'about everything. You know sisters.'

'Oh, I'd never give Owen a hard time,' said Alicia, with a wry grin.

'Yeah right' he smiled back.

'So, um, how are Zach and Grace?' He'd been thinking of her family since the night he called over.

'Oh, they're doing okay, I think, they're tough kids.' Alicia said, touched that he had been thinking about the. She was reminded of that other lifetime, when he had asked to meet them. Why had she been so sure it was a bad idea? 'They are getting so grown up now too.'

'That must be weird.'

'Yeah it is. But it's sort of nice too. I mean, when you have kids, for a time you feel like your life will always be on hold because they will always need you the most. And then, you wake up one day, and they are starting to live their own lives. It's hard their world is bigger than you, but it's... it's also kind of nice.'

'I can see that.' said Will, and he couldn't help but think with her kids almost grown up maybe finally Alicia would be focusing a little bit mor eon her, and if he was lucky, on him as well.


	8. Chapter 8

Note: Thanks everyone for your reviews- Guategal thank you especially, what you said really inspired me. I am keeping in mind also the suggestions about the friendship angle, from the guest poster also. I feel like that would be will and Alicia's way back in, through their friendship.

* * *

The next few weeks passed in a blur for Alicia.

Her work life, taking no heed of the turmoil in her personal life, suddenly kicked into high gear. A huge case came to the firm's door, involving a patent on a new type of social networking software.

The potential financial rewards, were off the charts, and Diane, in her infinite wisdom, while she was occupied elsewhere, had suggested Alicia and Will take the case together.

Alicia figured the firm were trading on her increased recent notoriety to get some extra publicity for their side, but if the pay off was spending a little extra time with Will, who was she to argue?

Also, immersing herself in the case was a nice escape from her 'real life'. For one thing Grace was suddenly acting weird at home, and she was afraid she was going to broach some very awkward subject about her father and the new affair...

When she had asked her daughter was anything wrong though, she just got a deer caught in headlights look on her face and made a quick exit. She asked Zach did he think everything was okay with her, and he said yes, and not to worry.

She smiled, thinking about what a good son she had raised She was proud of both her children, and they would always be her finest accomplishment.

* * *

She was painstakingly going through a lengthy contract, when Will entered her office with a smile.

'Having fun?'

'Hardly,; she sighed ruefully 'I still haven't found anything that might help our client.'

'The good news is, you may be able to put this on hold for a few days.'

She raised an eyebrow, her interest piqued.

'The Social Networking site executive has agreed to meet with us' he said, sitting down with ease opposite her desk. It came over him in a wave, the relief that it was no longer awkward to be in her company, in her office, in her space.

'Great!'

'The only catch is he'll only meet us in Manhattan, it's on his schedule. Diane wants us both there, but if it's a problem for you and the kids...'

Alicia pondered this. She really did want to talk to Grace, but both Zach and her instincts told her there wasn't anything urgent at play. Also, Owen had expressly offered to help her out, if needed, and this was exactly the kind of situation he had in mind, she was sure. Even if not, Peter was back in contrite mode, and would be more than willing to get some extra time with the children regardless.

'How long would it be for?'

'That's the only catch, this guy, Hamilton, is hard to pin down. He's given us a window of up to three days, he wants us at his beck and call'

For some reason, the only words going through Alicia's brain in that moment, were _Manhattan, Three days, Will _and _Beck and Call_- and no matter what way they were combining, they felt... exciting. She struggled to reorganise her brain along more sensible lines.

'Well, I have a favour to call in with Owen...'

Will was beginning to feel like he should send Alicia's brother a large fruit basket.

She could see a levity in Will's face the second he realised she was on board, which he almost concealed. There was always that part of him that was still that boy she first met, eager for an adventure and ready to dive in. It made her sad to think that maybe she had been a reason that he'd had to censor that part of himself, that he'd needed to put up a wall.

'But I don't know Will. Three days, stuck in Manhattan, all for only one meeting, not much to do...' she kept her tone of voice casual, not wanting to infer any sort of seduction.

'We might have time to go sightseeing? I never usually do when I'm in the city.'

She broke into a grin. 'Will, I was kidding you, three days in New York? Sight seeing, good food, maybe a little shopping? It's exactly the escape from reality I need right now'

She thought about what he said. Because Will had a few girlfriends (and each one had weighed heavily on her mind) it had partly escaped her how lonely his life really was.

Seeing the absolute delight he was trying so hard to hide at the thought of being in a fun city with a friend for company for a couple of days, really brought that home to her. She suddenly wondered how many nights he had gone to bed lonely, and thinking of her, while she kept him at a distance. Of course he would have sometimes had company, but nobody knew better than her that you could have company and be lonely still.

Even now, with her friendship with Kalinda partly mended, she didn't have that closeness she had when she and Kalinda were like the sort of kindred spirits usually only happens with children who've never betrayed each other. She missed that sense of trust and open-ness.

It seemed more possible, somehow, that she could have that more meaningful kind of friendship with Will, someday after all they'd been through with and for each other.

'Well great, I'll make arrangements. If you want I can even give you a ride to the airport- It's Thursday, is that enough time?'

'I'll need to check into things with Owen, and, maybe Peter,' the words came out before she could stop herself, and he looked at her, but it clicked into his head, that this was bout the kids, and he seemed to move on quickly.

'I'll hold off on booking,' he said, preparing to make an exit.

'Just until tonight. I'll let you know then.' She wanted him to understand, that she was going to make this a priority, but she didn't know how to say it. Besides, letting will know that he mattered, after everything, was not one easy conversation. It was going to involve incremental adjustments, and she was beginning to feel that teh wisest next move was to play a long game.


	9. Chapter 9

As it turned out, despite his good intentions Owen couldn't help out Thursday, and so it happened that Peter offered to step up.

The time he was collecting Grace (Zach was at a friend's house) was uncomfortably close to when Will was arriving to take her to the airport, and when Peter's car got caught in traffic, she really began to worry that the two mens arrivals might overlap.

Recently most of her communication to Peter had been between David Lee and Peter's divorce lawyer, and whilst interaction were strained, they were also cordial.

On top of everything else, there was the messy business of the money Peter had provided as the contribution for her partnership. It made her indebted to him in a way that was a little uncomfortable. David Lee inquired deftly into his position, however, and Peter said that he felt it was an investment for his whole family, which was a relief (although the wording still complicated things, to her mind, at least)

Grace was ready to go, and waiting impatiently for her father.

'It sucks that they are making you go away on work, with everything that's going on' said Grace, looking anxiously at her Mom.

'Oh, honey,; to be honest, this won't be a difficult few days. It might even do me good to get out of the city and away from... everything.'

Grace nodded, knowing that there were still reporters bothering her mother occasionally. She felt a twinge of annoyance at what her father had once again put the family through. Still, she was looking forward to some quality time with him.

Finally, there was a knock at the door.

'Your Dad's here! Said Alicia, giving Grace a kiss and a hug, 'Have a great weekend.' She was all but rushing her out the door, hoping they might still avoid Will.

Grace opened the door.

'It isn't Dad.' she said, confused.

It was Will, he was early. Alicia was seized with a sudden panic, as was Will.

'Oh honey, it's just Will, you remember, from work, I've told you about him.'

'You're Mom's old boss.' said Grace, looking at Will with an uncertainty that made him think maybe she suspected there was more to his relationship with her mother.

'Hey, I'm not that old!' said Will, followed by immediately wondering if that had been lame. What the hell did you say to kids anyway?

'Oh, that's not what I meant, I just meant,' suddenly he saw a flash of her mother, on that rare occasion when she was flustered. He grinned.

'I was just kidding, Grace. It's great to meet you, I've heard so much about you from your Mom.'

Grace smiled, and noted that he was trying to make a good impression.

'Nice to meet you too. So, you're here to take my Mom to the airport?'

'Yeah, well, now that she's partner she just bosses the rest of us around, so I had no choice really.''

Alicia smiled, Grace could see she liked being teased by him.

'Is Peter running late?' Will asked Alicia, slightly apprehensive of meeting the man again.

At that moment the elevator door pinged, Grace re-opened the door, and there was Peter.

'Dad!' she gave him an affectionate hug, and Peter, looking slightly sad and drawn, was obviously cheered by it.

'Will.' said Peter 'You're here.'

'Hi Peter.' said Alicia, civilly 'Will's picking me up for our flight.'

'Oh right, the two of you have that big case in New York, right'? Peter asked, trying desperately not wonder what was going on between Will and Alicia, or what would be going on soon.'

Alicia has slightly exaggerated to him the seriousness of the case, to encourage him to help her out.

'It's a really big opportunity,' said Will instinctively. 'Thanks for helping us out with this, Peter.'

Grace was watching the two men interact closely, and they were both very conscious of that.

Peter, for his part, didn't want to reveal the leftover aggression he felt for the man he lad long considered his main rival for his wife's affections. Will, in turn, didn't want Grace to see him as someone her beloved father despised.

'Not a Problem. Want to share the elevator down?' asked Peter.

'Oh, no thanks, I still need to get my coat and hand luggage,' said Alicia, giving Grace a last kiss, and Peter a reserved smile.'You two have a great weekend!'

Through the still open door, Will saw the elevator close on Peter's face, and he knew without wondering that right at this second Peter felt like the worst loser in all of Chicago.


	10. Chapter 10

Before long they were checking in to their hotel located in the Upper East Side, the same one in which the elusive Mr Hamilton would be staying.

It was still early, only five o'clock, and they had got word that the meeting would not be scheduled until the next day at the earliest.

For some reason, Alicia was reminded of her first time in the city, and that overwhelming sense of possibilities in the air. She watched Will as he chatted to the receptionist, and couldn't help but recall that first night they had spent together. It had also been like visiting a new and extraordinary place.

Their rooms were next to each other, and so they parted in the corridor.

'Do you want to grab a bite to eat, later?' asked Will

'Sure, I just want to shower and get changed, maybe around six?'

'Great.'

* * *

As Alicia finished getting dressed about an hour later, having unpacked and showered, she had to remind herself that she still had depositions to go over later that evening, that this wasn't just some kind of a romantic getaway.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror, pleased with her choice of a demure boat necked crimson top and tailored skirt with high heeled boots. Once she added her wool coat, it would be just right for a stroll in the city in the Spring air. (Okay, her plan to stop thinking romantic getaway was not going so well).

There was a knock at her door.

'Just a minute' she called, reapplying a warm shade of lipstick. She grabbed her bag and coat and opened the door.

Will looked as handsome as ever, and like maybe he too had put just a little bit of effort in too.

'Ready to go?' He asked with a grin which was both boyish and appreciative of her appearance.

* * *

They decided to walk a little downtown, ad the weather was so nice, and neither was particularly hungry. There was something nourishing about the walk itself, past brownstones, with Central Park to their right, and the evening light giving everything an amber hue.

'I can't remember the last time I was just walking like this, with no pressure to actually be anywhere,' she confessed.

'I know what you mean.' said Will .'Things are so crazy at work, and even when I have some leisure time, like a game, or whatever, it's usually scheduled'

'It's strange how much of your life can slip by like that.' And what she was really thinking, was that it was amazing how much time had slipped away since they were last together, and how now it felt like that time had had no weight at all, and she was only now living her real life again.

"There's this place I though we could eat in,' he suggested 'It's a bit further though, maybe another thirty minutes walk.'

He was picturing a small french restaurant with a piano player. He's happened by it on a dull business lunch the last time he was in the city, and had remembered thinking how nice it would have been to be there with better company.

'Let's go there. I'm enjoying the walk'

* * *

The restaurant was better than he remembered, with it's 1920s decor, and soft piano music in the background. Vintage photographs lined the walls. At one stage Will looked at Alicia and decided that she would not have been out of place in an old black and white movie, with her inky hair and pale skin.

'This is a great place.' she remarked.

"I know, right, it'd like something from an old movie.'

'I should take the kids sometime, when we're in town.' she felt a twinge of guilt for having such a nice time away from her children.

Will nodded, hoping that she wasn't missing her kids too much.

'I guess it's nice for Grace to get some time with her Dad.'

"Yes. They're close, and that's important.' Alicia said, taking a sip of her wine.

He thought with admiration, that it was incredible how she kept everything, and everyone around her so balanced. Well, except for him, he never felt quite balanced around her, but that wasn't so bad either.

Alicia hesitated before she asked him something she'd been thinking about for a while.

'Have you ever wanted a family, Will?'

He looked thoughtful.

'You know, it wasn't that I didn't want it. I guess I've just always been so focused on work. And I was just never with the right person, at the right time.' He looked down.

Alicia nodded, and the words 'bad timing' echoed in her mind.


	11. Chapter 11

The following morning, Alicia awoke before her alarm, the room was gradually filling with morning light. She has fallen asleep reading over a contract, and slept soundly.

When they had said good night in the corridor that evening, Will had leaned across and kissed her cheek, and she had felt a warmth emulating from where their skin had touched as she entered her room.

From that wounded, wary look in his eyes, Alicia could tell that he had no idea the power that he had over her. She had worked long and hard to have dominion over her emotions, and most of the time she succeeded, but all it took was one moment of weakness to make her realise that she could never completely beat this thing with Will, all she could do was keep the desire to be with him at bay temporarily.

She showered, dressed and took the elevator down for breakfast, and was glad to see him already at a table, with coffee and a newspaper.

'How did you sleep?' she asked him

'Pretty good. Some the depositions I had to go through are as good as a powerful sedative.'

She smiled. 'I know the feeling.' She sipped her coffee 'Any word from Hamilton's assistant?'

'Yup, he said they are going to try to fit us in at four.'

Her heart sank just a little bit, as she had been hoping that maybe they would have this whole day to themselves, and could leave work until they were at the end of their stay here. Then again, they still had most of the day..

'I was thinking,' she said 'That we're probably only about forty minutes walk from The Museum of Natural History, if you cut across the park. I though I might walk over there.'

' Alicia, I'm surprised at you. Don't you have contracts to look over before our meeting?' His voice was stern, but she could see the smile in his eyes. She couldn't help but be reminded of that time in his apartment, when he'd asked if he was being too hard on her.

'You know what they say about all work and no play, Will.'

She could tell he was not able to resist the temptation.

'I have a conference call will Diane and David Lee at nine, I could probably go around half, if you don't mind waiting?

'Not a problem, it will give me a chance to get my paperwork in order.' She tried to remind herself that Will was still a named partner, and she didn't want to be unprofessional. But they both knew this meeting was just a formality, if anything they were over-prepared. And after everything they had both been through in their relationship, it was like the universe almost owed them these small pockets of time together.

She felt like they were kids at school playing hooky together. Perhaps because they had met when they were so young, there would always be a part of her that felt like a kid with Will, and wanted to play around. Nobody else made her feel like that anymore.

* * *

She wrapped up well with a crimson scarf woven in Donegal tweed wool, and knocked on Will's door around 9.45 a.m. He opened it, and she saw he was pulling on his coat whilst ending his call with Diane and David.

He had his sleeve caught, and she reached out to straighten it for him, and for a second he forgot how to finish his closing sentence.

'...He pulled himself together 'So I'll get back to you both after the meeting, sometime this evening, okay?' She could hear Diane and David exchange pleasantries with him, and soon he had them off the phone.

'Sorry,' he told her 'That ran a little late.'

'It's not a problem.'

Before long they were outside, in the spring air, walking through a peaceful Central Park, which was like another world hidden within the bustle of Manhattan. The trees were just beginning to sprout new yellow green leaves.

'You know I've never been to this Museum? I always wanted to when I was a kid.' said Will, and she could tell that he was looking forward to it.

'You're kidding me.' said Alicia 'My parents used to take me here every time we were in the city. I think it's kind of a staple good place for guilty divorcees to take their kids.'

Will nodded.

'My Mom and dad never had much time for that kind of stuff, Dad was so busy with work, and Mom with her committees...' It was rare for Will to speak about his parents at all. Alicia considered for a moment, realising that although she had a lot of regrets about her relationship with her parents, and how they handled their divorce, she also had some good memories too. As a child she would have envied Will his intact family, but beneath the surface maybe he really didn't have any more than her- maybe even less...

'So we're making up for lost time, here.' said Alicia, stealing a glance at him.

She wasn't sure if it was the slight shill in the air, or the potential double meaning of her words, that caused his face to redden slightly.

'I guess we are.' He said, looking down.

* * *

Arriving at the museum, and seeing Will's reaction to the giant dinosaur skeleton in the main lobby, she was glad she had thought of this place. She remembered reading about the Native American exhibit as a teenager, in The Catcher in The Rye, and for some reason being in this museum always felt like being in a book, or a movie.

They wouldn't have time to see everything, so she tried to direct him to her favorite parts.

They visited the exotic butterflies enclosure, which had live, giant, tropical butterflies in a carefully preserved habitat of exotic vegetation.

At one point, as she walked behind Will through the enclosures pathway, a larger, papery other-worldy butterfly with two cat-like eyes on its brown wings landed right on the shoulder of his jacket. Instinctively, she reached out gently and touched his fingertips.

He looked around quizzically at her.

'Your shoulder.' she said softly.

'Wow.' he said as he noticed the hitch-hiker near his lapel. At that moment it flew away, and they both watched it. They listened as a guide explained how some of these incredible insects only had a life span of a couple of weeks, most not more than a month. There was a small case where you could see cocoons hatching.

As they exited the enclosure, Alicia remarked 'It seems like a waste almost, for something so beautiful to be so short-lived.'

'Will looked thoughtful. 'Maybe it's not so bad for something to have a brief lifespan, though. I mean, if what it is in that time, is really extraordinary.'

He looked directly at her, and she worried that he was saying that they were better off leaving what they had as the brief affair that it had been.

He noticed that she seemed a little taken aback, although he only had an inkling as to why, so he added 'Then again, if you're just living in a glass room, being ogled by strangers all day, maybe a month is more than enough. Don't they have a Planetarium here too.'

Alicia gave herself a shake mentally. She needed to stop reading too much in to everything.

'They sure do. Let's go see some stars... '


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note: Thank you everyone who has reviewed, it really means a lot to me. I won't be able to write again for about a week, but hopefully in that time I'll be inspired for an ending. I felt a little stuck after the last episode, as it wasn't as encouraging as I hoped for Will and Alicia. Still I suppose we can only keep the faith!

* * *

The meeting with Hamilton ran until well into the evening, so they were both hungry and tired. They opted for a small Mexican fusion restaurant not far from the hotel, and ate quickly with only the occasional pleasantry by way of conversation.

It wasn't until they were relaxing with an after dinner cocktail that Will had the chance to say what had been on his mind.

'This has been really great, Alicia.'

It was as if the last couple of days had been a window into the life he had almost dreamed he could live with her, when they had been together so briefly.

She could see he was feeling a little vulnerable, so she chose her response with care.

'For me too, Will. This has been exactly what I needed.' She sipped on a cocktail that tasted like a popsicle. 'Almost like a vacation really.'

She thought she saw him wince.

He decided to just say it.

'Meaning tomorrow night it's back to reality?' And they would be apart again, he added, silently.

'Well, back to Chicago anyway.'' She pulled her hair behind her ear and looked at his slightly downcast expression. 'I don't know if things will ever be the same for me again, really.'

'You mean, with Peter?'

'Well, yes, in a way' Although Peter was not what she had spent most of her free tie thinking about during the trip, thankfully. 'I did everything I could not to get a divorce. And not... not because my marriage was so wonderful,' she looked down, 'But because of what a divorce does to a family.'

'You don't think your kids will understand?'

'I didn't- when it was my parents. I guess I just don't want my kids to feel about me, the way I did about my Mom and Dad.'

Will surveyed her face, beautiful but also, as often, difficult to decipher.

'I think you have a great relationship with your kids.' he said solemnly. 'I mean, from the little I've seen.'

'No I, well you're right, we do have a good relationship. I've worked hard on that. And I guess I've been really afraid, Will, of doing anything to jeopardize that.'

She looked into his darkening eyes, hoping he could understand.

Will's heart was actually beating strangely quickly, and he felt silly because he knew it was just because she finally seemed to be letting him in, just a little. As he nodded, slightly, to show he had absorbed the weight of her words, he reasoned that it was only far enough to explain why he couldn't come in any further, when she spoke again.

'But I... I regret the way I handled things with us Will. I know I pushed you away. You were willing to take on everything... everything in my life that would have been messy, and difficult. And I was the one who ran away from it all. I felt like such a coward.'

Hey eyes looked so sad that he couldn't help but reach out and stroke her face.

'Alicia, it was an impossible situation for you. It's okay, I understand.'

The feeling of their skin making contact cause both of them to inhale involuntarily.

'Id just been so used to just keeping everything going Will. Paying my bills, checking in on the kids... Everything was comfortable, and workable. And then... then you came along, and everything that had seemed like enough before,' there was a catch in her voice 'wasn't enough anymore. And that was frightening for me.'

He'd thought that she was going to talk about Grace going missing, but this sounded... different somehow.

'But Alicia,' he began, guessing at her concerns. 'You don't need to worry about needing me. If you need me, I'm here. That's how it is, all right?'

She looked down, determined that if she was being honest, she was being fully honest.

'It's not... it wasn't really you I didn't trust Will. It's just, I've been in love before. I put my whole life into it, my career went on hold... Everything I was was tied up with Peter and... when he, when I lost that... I lost everything. I don't want to ever have that happen to me again. I don't know if I'll be strong enough to recover.'

'I don't... I don't know what I can say.' said Will, his mind racing, although he didn't feel entirely without hope.

'Maybe don't say anything for tonight. We could have a glass of wine on Sunday, at my place. Grace and Zach are both staying with friends. Any you could just think about what I've been saying. And so will I. That is, if you want to?'

Will cracked a small grin. For a smart woman, very occasionally, she could ask a really dumb question.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's note: Hi there readers, I'm back and thanks so much for all your reviews! The story is pretty much winding up, I want to add a few more elements, but probably just another chapter or two to go. Thanks for staying with me :)

* * *

It seemed like no time at all until Will was riding the elevator up to her apartment on Sunday evening For some reason, when he entered this building, he always felt a little bit like an intruder in her kingdom.

He was holding a bottle of a fantastic Merlot, and he could feel the glass slipping against his sweaty palms. He gave himself a quick court-side- style talking to, to get himself together.

He knocked on the door.

As it opened, he caught his breath just a little. She was lovely, of course, and somehow more vulnerable without her work clothes, but also he couldn't help but wonder if this was it. If this was the moment when she might finally belong to him.

Her uncertain smile gave little away, and they nervously exchanged pleasantries as he handed her the bottle.

'I feel like I've barely seen you all week,' she remarked, conversationally.

'I know, things have been hectic.' he agreed. Really, it hadn't been that bad, but he'd been devoting ever spare second to thinking about what she had said to him, and what he could do about it. It was overwhelming enough, without seeing her too, and not knowing how things were supposed to be between them now.

They were sitting on her couch, and in his mind he was calculating how many inches were between them, deliberating whether they were a safe distance from each other, or not.

'You must have been glad to get back to Grace and Zach.' he said, deliberately naming them, and showing he realised they were part of this conversation- that they would be part of every conversation that they could have.

'Oh sure- though sometimes it's nice for us to have time apart. You know how teenagers are.'

'Well, not first hand- but I suppose I used to be one- some stay I still am one.' he grinned with a hint of self-consciousness.

Alicia pretended to consider 'Well, I guess they do have a point, your apartment is probably every high school boy's dream.'

'Hey!' he exclaimed, batting her arm playfully with his knuckles. They brushed against the skin of her arm, and the fine hairs on her skin just stood on end of their own accord.

'I'm kidding.' he said with a smile, and moved to uncork and pour the wine.

'Thanks,' he took a sip, partly to calm himself before beginning.

'So I... I've been thinking about what you said, in New York.' He looked down, not noticing her eyes were glued to his face. 'And I don't think you were entirely right- about you running away, I mean.'

'Will, I need to take responsibility for...'

'...for you part in things not working out? Sure. But then, so do I. You remember that second message that you asked me about, Alicia, the one that I left on your phone?'

Of course she remembered.

'Yes, I do.'

'I didn't want to tell you what it said- because I was... I was scared, I wasn't ready... I don't know, for a hundred stupid reasons. But I'd like to tell you now.' He was saying he'd like to, but he was terrified, and she could tell.

'Will, you don't have to...'

'No, I want to.' he took a breath. 'What I said was, that I was willing to meet you, anytime, anywhere, and make a real plan for us to be together.'

Alicia took a minute to absorb this. So all the pain, and misunderstanding, and her crippled romance with Peter, could have all been avoided? The news hit her like a freight train.

'I don't understand, Will. Why wouldn't you tell me that?'

He could see her walls going up, just a little, but she was still there, and still listening.

'Because... well at first, because I though you got the message, and it wasn't what you wanted.'

Those words hung in the air.

Alicia considered, and had to admit that it would have been easy for him to get that impression. After all, she had been the one putting the brakes on, the one saying she couldn't cope...

'But then when I asked you?' she asked him gently

'I guess I lost my nerve. I mean, about whether I'd be able to deliver.' This was hard for him to admit, and he tugged a little at his collar, which suddenly felt tight. 'I mean, I know for sure how I feel about you. I've felt that way for a long time.' He looked at her eyes, and though he could see a radiance emerge at his words. 'But I wasn't sure how... how good I'd be at the rest of it. You know- the family stuff. I mean, maybe... well a lot of people might not think I'm the best example for a couple of impressionable teenagers.' he looked at her.

She saw in his dark eyes the unspoken "Maybe even you might think that?" directed at her.

Instinctively, she reached out and touched the tips of his fingers, and noticed them tremble, either with nerves or with emotion, she wasn't sure which, but it broke her heart just a little.

'Will.' he wasn't meeting her gaze. 'Will look at me.'

He obliged.

'It's never been how you would be with the kids I've been worried about.'

He tried to digest that.

'But it has been whether or not you would want them in your life. Because we're one hundred per cent a package deal. They're great kids, and if you make an effort, they would appreciate that, and the rest would take care of itself. But they are a big commitment- especially for a family that isn't... well that isn't really your own.'

'I know it's big.' He felt like his whole life was suddenly hanging in the balance, out of nowhere.

'But do you want it?'

She pulled back her hand, not wanting to have any undue influence over his reply, willing him to just speak from his heart.'

'It's the only thing I want, Alicia. To be with you.'

As she sat next to him, he seemed stripped down to emotion, and to a sort of aching that she couldn't fully comprehend.

But she couldn't help the wave of joy that was sweeping her up in it's warm frothy fold, and she reached out and placed her palm on his shoulder, with a quiet sense of ownership.

'Good answer.' she remarked, and their lips were so close together.

He could feel her breath on his neck and it was irresistible; he leaned in and and kissed her.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N** Thanks again for the reviews, and Junior 4323 I only hope you're right about what's coming up- this season has been a tough slog for team Will. We're definitely due a break! I've been so encouraged by the response to this story I would like to try another, maybe over the hiatus, and I'm hoping the last few episodes will be a source of inspiration. I think the next chapter now will be the last one.

* * *

When he kissed her, she could feel every last defense breaking down. Everything she had done and tried to stop herself from giving in to this emotion suddenly seemed meaningless and futile.

She returned the kiss with equal passion and intensity, and couldn't stop herself from running her fingers through his hair. The feeling of touching him was like a drug coursing through her veins.

They paused at the same moment, looked at each other, and smiled. She could see those murky eyes of his, the ones she has never quite been able to forget, growing incrementally more hopeful as she returned his gaze.

His hand crept down to the small of her back, and it made every nerve ending in her body tingle. It almost hurt how much she wanted to be with him, and she could feel when he rested his head against her ear for just a moment, that he felt the same way.

* * *

In the morning, as light dawned in her bedroom, Will's eyelids opened hesitantly to the morning light. They had moved to the bedroom, he smiled as he recalled, but forgotten to close the curtains. And to do anything else that involved taking their hands off each other.

She was sleeping soundly next to him, with one hand draped possessively across his torso, and her white shoulders reflecting the morning light.

He tried to curb his hope and joy with some rational caution, after all, she had changed her mind about them before. There was something in her voice last night, though, that had given him cause to hope for more this time. The thought was also slightly terrifying, especially for him, a man who had never in his life made a real commitment. But the even more frightening fact was that somewhere in his heart he knew he had just never found anybody that began to measure up to her.

As she began to stir, she turned to face him, and he couldn't help the heat that rose in his face, and the rest of his body just at the sight of her perfect body

'Morning,' she said drowsily, and brushed his face with a sleepy kiss, after which he had to envelop her in his arms, as a response to the pleasure her gesture released in him.

He pulled back to look at her

'Maybe I should be going?' he asked 'The kids will be back soon. Right?'

She checked the clock behind him, unwillingly coming back to the real world.

She sighed.

'I guess so. It's almost eleven. I can't believe I slept so long.'

She drew him closer, unwilling to break the spell of this moment they were sharing, and the magnetism that seemed to exist between their bodies. His skin on hers felt like warm butter melting. He'd been so difficult to leave behind before, but now that she'd been able to let herself really have him, it seemed impossible to ever let him go.

Will, for his part, was not at all anxious to leave. He'd never befroe felt so at home with her here, or so like he might really belong. But he didn't want to screw things up by over-doing it, by having the kids walk in before she could tell them... this wasn't something he could afford to ruin through any of his usual gambling tendencies.

She saw the anxiety etched on his face and smiled, stroking his face gently.

'Let's get showered and dressed, and I'll get you some coffee,' She wanted to speak to him, and not in an environment where she was so sorely tempted to abandon words and give in to her more carnal compulsions.

* * *

Once they were at the breakfast bar, and not facing each other directly, it was easier to speak her mind.

'I've been thinking about the kids.' she said, and suddenly he felt his heart plummet about thirteen storeys.

'Oh?' He swallowed.

'I'm going to speak to them this week, I think it's time.'

She looked to him for reassurance that this was right, and she could see the relief spreading acriss his face.

'If you're sure?'

'I'm sure.' She squeezed his hand for emphasis.

'And then I think, maybe next weekend, we should arrange for you to meet them.' She paused again, once again checking his face to gauge his comfort level. She could tell he was panicking.

'I know you've met Zach before, but I think it would be nice, and they'll want to.'

'You don't think it's too soon?'

'Ordinarily, I'd say yes. But this isn't exactly our first time at the rodeo Will. I think if I don't do it right away, this might trip us up again later. And I don't want that.'

'Neither do I' he agreed.

'So it's settled then?'

He nodded, and looked down, knowing that he was going to be dreading this all week. What if he made a fool of himself (he already kind of had, with Zach). He knew that if her kids didn't warm to him, that was going to be a big problem for Alicia, whether she said so or not. And the kids were so close to their Dad. What if they hated him for coming between their parents?

As he gulped back his coffee and rose to go, she faced him and placed both hands on his shoudlers.

'Will, you can do this. It's going to be fine.'

He allowed himself a moment of uncertainty in front of her.

'You really think so?' his voice faltered.

She looked him straight in the eye.

'I know it.' She kissed him soundly, and he took solace in that intimacy.

'Just remember,' she said whilst showing him to the door, after he had donned his coat 'My kids want me to be happy... and you make me happy.'


	15. The End

Will must have changed his shirt at least three times before he left his apartment. It was difficult, trying to find something in his closet that did not scream 'Lawyer'. He wanted to come across as somebody fun, with a life outside the courtroom (even if that wasn't quite the truth).

Alicia had decided to invite him for brunch in the apartment. It was idea, because it was Sunday again and both Grace and Zach would be rushing off with their last weekend plans as soon as they were finished, which eased off the pressure of anything prolonged. It was just going to be about an hour... was what he kept telling himself.

He stopped on the way to pick up some pastries- again he had taken Alicia's advice on this- that it was important not to go too big, or try to win the kids over with presents. She's told him to be himself, but what she didn't seem to realize was that while he knew who that was ninety nine per cent of the time, all you had to do was put him in a room with a teenager and all that self assurance went out the window.

Well, she'd see soon enough...

* * *

When the knock came at the door, Alicia had to resist jumping up to answer it.

It was weird how protective she felt of Will, though it probably had something to do with the growing terror she had seen in his eyes as the weekend approached. On some level, she knew she had a formidable family. Grace and Zach were Peter Florick's children, which carried a certain weight, but they were also intelligent and discerning in their own right- and very protective of her, as their mother.

She let Zach open the door, and let Will in.

'I think we've met before.' said Zach

'I was kind of hoping you wouldn't remember that.' said Will, then immediately regretted his forthrightness.

Zach breezed right by that, in a way that made his mother love him just a little bit more.

'Well Mom has so many technology crises, they do kind of start to blur together after a while.'

'Hey!' Alicia objected playfully, coming up to take Will's coat, managing to brush his hand discreetly but reassuringly.

Hearing the voices, Grace came in.

'Oh, Hello, Mr Gardner.' she said, quite formally.

'Just Will is okay.'

Grace nodded, and she seemed a little overcome with shyness. Alicia was frankly relieved so far, because when she had told Grace and Zach she wanted them to meet a male friend of hers, whom they might see from time to time, she thought she'd seen her eyes get a little teary.

As Will followed her into the kitchen, with the bakery box, Alicia heard Zach slyly say 'Yeah Grace, you don't have to address him like it's a court room.' and Graces muttered response of 'Shut up.'

* * *

Sitting down to eat, the surreal nature of the experience was not lost on Will. He'd rarely dated women with children, and never seriously enough to be sitting down with them like this, in a family style setting. If they were in a restaurant, he mused, passers by might mistake them for a real family.

Alicia was different. She changed around her kids, she was softer somehow, more affectionate and also more vulnerable. It brought the emotional parts of her he always knew were there more close to the surface. It was nice to see that side of her., but it also made him feel a little off-guard.

'So, what's Mom like to work with?' asked Zach

'Oh she's... she's great. We've been lucky to have her at the firm.'

Will paused to take a sip of orange juice. Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad.

'You used to be my Mom's boss, right?' asked Grace, suddenly.

He thought he felt himself swallowing the orange juice incorrectly. Maybe this was going to be like a courtroom.

'Well, I, we... I used to be her boss, that's true, until she made partner. So that's been a change in the office.' He resisted the urge to look at his watch. He didn't sense any hostility from Grace's expression, but the kid seemed to have a knack for asking awkward questions.

'Is it a lot of work being partner?' asked Zach, who had seen both Will's discomfort, and his Mom's concern.

'More than you realise at the beginning.' said Will, relieved to be on safer ground. 'It's easy to get completely buried in all the paperwork. And the politics.'

'Have you been partner for long time?' asked Grace, and once again he couldn't quite make out what she was thinking. It reminded him a little of her mother, actually, and he couldn't help a small smile to himself.

'For years. I cam out of college obsessed with making partner. Sometimes it seems like all those years in between just passed in a blur.'

He felt all of a sudden as if he had been swept up in river rapids for the last twenty years, and had somehow washed up ashore here, in this dining room, with the girl he'd loved in college, all grown up, and her extraordinary children.

Grace looked at him with an understanding, which he hoped was to his favour.

'And you don't have any family of your own?'

'No. I guess that's why I spent so much time at the office.'

Alicia was looking at him, and she was thinking of how many people might see Will and think he was somebody who had pushed everything else aside, for the sake of his career. But there was also that side of him that had clung so hard to his career success, because he had so little else. She watched how Grace regarded him, and she realized that there was some compassion there too.

'You know, Will plays a lot of basketball.' Alicia said to Zach, helping to move things along.

* * *

It was late afternoon, and the kids were gone. Despite the early hour, Alicia had brought in a couple of beers, mostly because she knew Will's nerves could use steadying.

'That went well, don't you think?' she asked him.

'I guess.' he said, taking a sip, starting to feel more normal again. It's just weird. I mean, I knew you had this other life...'

'But it's different to be here.' she acknowledged.

'And it's... well it's weird for me, because I sort of... I gave up all hope of that sort of life a long time ago Alicia... you know, of a home, a family... After we broke up, I thought that was probably it. That I'd just keep going along the way I was, you know, maybe date, but..'

He didn't know, she thought, how closely his feelings at that time had mirrored hers.

' You know Will, I long time ago, I let go of everything that I had wanted to become, to be with Peter. I mean, it was a good trade, I got two incredible children, and I wouldn't do anything differently. But I gave up on the idea of being able to put what I wanted on my list of things to do. I mean, the kids are still top of the list, but I guess I never thought I'd be able to put the things that I wanted for myself back up there too.' She looked at him to let him know that he was one of those things.

It made her catch her breath to think how close she had come to not really having a life of her own.

Will grinned.

'Well, I guess that's not a bad list to come third on. I mean, after the kids, and being partner, of course.' He looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

She smiled. 'Well I can't deny it Will, you know how I love those depositions...'

And she grabbed his shirt to draw him close for a kiss.

* * *

A/N So this is it for now, the story is over, and thank you everyone who stayed with the story, it was so lovely to read your thoughts. I really wanted to write about what it might take for Alicia to let Will into her life a bit more and what that could mean for them. Fingers crossed for some good Will/ Alicia episodes coming up! If you guys have any other ideas for future stories please do let me know in reviews, I will be thinking on this also.


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